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At this point last year, I found myself on a TV programme alongside three vocalists. There was a hip-hop artist with Ghanaian roots, a big pop star, and a famous mezzo-soprano. It was deep midwinter. The night before, I attended a longtime friend's 60th birthday, squeezed into a pub's event space in the Surrey region. The festivities were fun, yet now, just for something to say, I wondered how one could prevent getting a cold with many partygoers were players in a symphony of coughs, sneezes, snuffles and nose-blows. Incidentally, how come some people have nose-blows like trumpets, while others are quieter? A question for another day.

Their Take of the Trio

Upon referencing the party, the group of artists backstage at the TV studio responded in two ways. Firstly, they moved back a bit. Next, they launched into an animated conversation about preventing colds which naturally enough given their line of work was a major concern for them. I understand that, yet I'm personally involved – I must avoid colds at all costs because the colds I get are worse than anyone else’s. I don’t have a medical certificate to confirm this, but I firmly believe it. My symptoms persist. My nasal passages are more congested, my throat feels rougher, I suffer from louder, more relentless coughing spells. My family, alert to the initial throat noises indicating trouble ahead, often shoo me away or leave themselves. During my time hosting football on TV, the unfortunate crew in the control room learned to recognize the signals. “Earpieces out!” the director would shout to his team prior to me blasting their ears, overloading their audio gear.

Dealing With Stuffy Noses

As for my blocked noses, don’t start me. Sprays, drops, even the electric shock of fumes of boiling plum brandy my mother recommends … they all work for a while until they fail. Nothing is quite as sad as a Midlands dialect spoken without the benefit of air passing through the nostrils. I mean, it can sound nasal even normally. At least this elicits sympathy, which isn't ideal. When I started college, away from my mum and her medicinal brandy, the cleaning staff at our accommodation felt sorry for me. “I have the perfect solution, you unfortunate soul. I'll return shortly.” She was very lovely, very Irish, and demanded I eat the fresh, skinless onion she presented to me. She stood and watched me do so. Kind soul. No improvement resulted, sadly, except for upsetting my stomach and creating bad breath.

The Singer’s Health Routine

So no, I hate colds and am convinced prevention beats cure that traditional or modern, fail to help. I listened intently along with the rapper and the pop star when the mezzo-soprano walked us through her cold avoidance regime. With forthcoming bookings to sing for her supper over Christmas, she approached it with great diligence. She instructed us to apply hand sanitiser on the hour, every hour throughout the winter from what I gathered in addition, there were special precautions required for social events and gatherings. Before any event, she advised several sprays of Vicks First Defence up each nostril – even if healthy. Intense. I appreciated it. Moreover, she mandated a second dose post-event with more spray of the same stuff.

My Experience

I followed suit. And I have to say I remained cold-free. There were drawbacks: the numerous products I purchased, lost, reacquired, located, etc. And the disappointing instant when you discover you've crushed the hand sanitizer stored in your pocket and it's leaking all over. Nevertheless, all a price worth paying. And now winter’s upon us again, I’m re-armed to the teeth with the mezzo-soprano’s recommended ordnance. I’m ready for battle.