🔗 Share this article

One Side: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes I'm recorded while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when other people see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be involved. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram later, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have no makeup on, making a strange expression or be captured while eating. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She could easily hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to several industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I invest assisting her create material.

I’m grateful that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but sometimes it seems that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and record me laughing with someone. It feels forced. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I love being with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, edited, or posted for an viewers. I am not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: Marielle

I hope my friend to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It's more than a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online allows me to express myself and connect with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who pull off that style of casual, DIY film-making.

Content creation is my version of living actively: observing the nuances, posting them with an audience that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uneasy. Taking her to industry events was my method of offering access, giving her a opportunity to witness exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That’s not leverage, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see what the work we make together can get us: an opening. I understand not all people enjoys being filmed, but often unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Appearing on video from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my private videographer, but friends support one another in minor capacities. I thought filming a short video now and then would be fun for her. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having my friend around makes endeavors energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I’d never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our time together.

I value our friendship profoundly and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like requesting permission before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it’s about sharing my world while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it's her job, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn’t mean all those around her is willing material. She must to honor her friend's privacy.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy making content and showing off her life online, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has assisted Beth’s career, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the priority in your friendship. Foster some authentic experiences, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when they're together – she’s working. Each appears unsure as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?